sometimes

i have days that i wake up with what seems like a completely clean slate, an empty mind, a fresh outlook but it isn't always as good as that seems or as healthy. i wake up without opinions, thoughts, ideas, it's almost a state of perpetual meditation - an entirely blank mind. it's these days were i don't feel like talking to anyone, i don't want to take the time and effort to figure out how to phrase how i'm feeling, what i'm thinking. because i'm not feeling anything, i'm not thinking anything. i'm not even really there. just floating on by. the thing that frightens me most is that i don't know where i go on these days, these are the days i completely lose myself. and i never really do find myself again.